Fist (revised)

I watch its angry arc
through treacle time
its fury almost graceful,
with a hint of haste

 
this clenched missive
each knuckle scripted
its disgust
aimed at my nose

 
I do not flinch
though I cry ‘I’m sorry’
is it this
or the force of my gaze?

 
that arrests your fist
no imprint left
your message
written on me still
_______________________________

I have revised this somewhat. After spirited discussion on Facebook I have elected to retain ‘treacle’, albeit at the risk of my readers’ minds drifting to thoughts of gingerbread. I have extended the ‘missive’ metaphor in the second stanza and referred back to it in the fourth. I hope it’s a stronger poem for these changes. Thanks to all my poetic friends for their input.

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One response to “Fist (revised)

  1. That last verse is sublime. Love the melody. The whole thing’s great and I applaud your use of treacle – if I could do it, baby I would!

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